Huh??? I thought it was What Meegan Makes. Not today. I am getting personal here on the blog. The question for today is: What Makes Meegan?
For my focus word of the year I chose “Reach”. I think about that word almost on a daily basis. Today, I am going to reach out by telling you a few personal things about me.
For me, as a person first and foremost I am a daughter of God. I know this. And, have always known it since I was a small child. Next, I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and grandma.
I have a beautiful life. I am very blessed. Does that mean I go without struggles or trials? Absolutely not. But, I have grown from them. It has been hard at times to actually Reach. But, if I do, I am happy in the end. So what am I referring to?
When I was 30 yrs old, I had 6 beautiful children. Each unique and wonderful. I lived in a brand new home, built by Hubby and a few friends. He had a great job and I was able to be a stay at home mom. I loved decorating our home, caring for our children, making meals, attending PTA meetings, soccer games, and having peace in my life.
When suddenly in a flash all of that changed. I was at a Cub Scout Pack Mtg. The meeting was over and I was chatting with a friend. I was holding our 10 month old baby in my arms. All of the sudden my vision became very dark. The room was closing in on me. My body began to jerk uncontrollably. I told me friend, “Get Hubby, NOW!” As I slowly slipped unconscious, someone grabbed the baby and all of our children together. Hubby helped me as I gradually slipped unconscious and fell to the floor. I was taken to the emergency room. It was there I was told I had a gran mal seizure. What??? NO!! Not me!! I was strong, healthy and had my whole life ahead of me.
From that moment on, I was a changed person. I was different. My thought process changed. My outlook changed. I was slower to react. I was not able to care for our children. I was on medications that gave me hives all over my body and made me sleep all day and night. I had salivary gland infections. I was NOT Meegan anymore.
The question is: What Makes Meegan? What did this make me? Venerable, weak, scared, unsure, and insecure. What if I had a seizure again? What if I had one in front of our kids? What if there wasn’t a medication that could help me without severe side affects?
Let me tell you that I did have seizures again. Yes, even in front of my children and out in public. Yes, there is a medication that helps my body. Yes, my medication does have side affects. Are they worth the price? Yes. To be able to live a half way normal, full life. I would say the side affects ARE worth it.
Did I ever think I would get through that time? No, I never thought I would. Did I think I would die? Yes, I thought about that everyday in the beginning. Am I a different person? Yes, absolutely. Do I miss that person I was before? Yes, I do. I mourn for her and my loss. Do I still long to be that person? Yes, I still try to be THAT Meegan, but she really doesn’t exist the way she used to. Do I think about or worry about having a seizure everyday? Yes, I do. I am more aware of my body and pay close attention to how I feel physically, everyday. Do I still struggle? Yes, I do. BUT, It is much less than in the beginning. Now, when I have a siezure, I am disappointed and try to reflect on why this happened. But, I pick myself up and keep going.
You see, when my life changed so drastically, so fast I mourned the person I HAD been. The mom I was, the wife, daughter, and sister I was. I mourned the lost days with my family. I still mourn the things I can’t remember. It is a process. It is the process of life for me.
BUT, like I said in the beginning. I have a beautiful life, a wonderful Hubby that has stood by me, amazing children, that are sensitive and caring. Yes, even though life through me a curve ball, I decided to hit the ball out of the park and make the best of what I DO have! It has taken me time. A long time. But, I am grateful and thankful for my life.
And that is ONE of the many facets of What Makes Meegan.
Thanks for joining me today. I hope you have gotten to know me a little bit better. I will continue to share more about me a my life story as the weeks and days go by. It’s my way to Reach you.
Make it a wonderful day!
Thank-you for sharing such a personal thing, such honesty! I can’t imagine how this must have changed things. But I feel you are still the same person, still strong and brave, that is clear and you have the best smile, it lights up the whole computer screen! I’m so happy you have so many wonderful supportive people around you! xo
You are a brave and strong woman Meegan and grateful to you for sharing your story. You inspire me. Thank you.
Vanessa,
I don’t think of myself as brave, at all. But you are such a sweetie. Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. They mean more than you could ever know.
LOves!
Meegan I to have Epilepsey . It is a life changing thing. My children are all grown and have all saw me have a seizure. Does it scare them? My oldest son very badly. The other two have learned that I will be ok. And yes you are never the same,but God knows us and will care for us.I am 81 and still mobile and have been seizure free for at least 15 years now. my medication is a must every day. God bless you . I will pray for you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have gone through so much and yet you are so strong and brave. I know how it feels to have your world turned upside down in a moment never to return to the way you were. I had a mini-stroke at the age of 39 that forever changed my life. Thank you for being so open and honest!!
Thanks so much Crystal I am so sorry you had to deal with a mini-stroke and the terrifying fear that leaves with you. I am so sorry. It does change you forever. Bless your heart. You will be in my thoughts.
xoxo
I’m sending you hugs right now sweet friend and I have to tell you as I read your post today this is what I thought: Strong, smart, faith-filled, loved, creative and …the list goes on and on…THAT is What Meegan Makes of it! Not what makes Meegan!
You’re an amazing lady! Be well.
xxoo
Therese,
I can always count on your positive outlook and sweet words to make my day. I appreciate that so much. You give me way too much credit. I am grateful for our friendship. xoxo
Loves!!
Thank you for sharing a vulnerable part of yourself with us, your readers. It is in being authentic and real, that the walls come down and we really do bridge the gap. As scary as I’m sure that time in your life was, it sounds as though you are living an abundant life! And I’m sure God is using your experiences to help others :)
Thank YOU Cindy for such beautiful words and compliments. I am blessed to have you heer. I do hope that I can be of some help to others. That is my greatest wish with this disorder. :)
Please come back again.
Loves!
Meegan, you are so brave. How do I know that? Because epilepsy has impacted my family in a huge way. Therefore, I know that you are strong and brave and that you have fought thru numerous med trials and therapies in order to survive. You not only survive, you THRIVE!
Bravo to you for never giving up and for making the best of a condition that will knock you flat in a second with no warning. I have two sons that endured years of gran mal activity. My hubby is now in treatment due to a head injury last year. You just learn to go on and adapt in the best way you can. You have done that and more. Keep living the life that was meant for you, Meegan!
Bless your heart Tina. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing YOUR own experiences. It breaks my heart when I hear of someone else with the same condition. You are a good mom and a faithful support to your husband. I know they are so grateful for someone like you int heir lives.
xoxoxo
Meegan, thank you for daring to be vulnerable in sharing your story with us today. My gosh, that had to be rough! Your positive outlook on life is inspiring and clearly, judging from your blog, it has not held you back from leading a fulfilling life! Cyber hugs being sent your way!
xo xo
Marie, you are so kind. I appreciate your sweet words today. Thanks for your sweet hugs, too :)
Meegan nice to meet you, and bless you today and always! Thanks for sharing Lisa @ Sweet Tea N’ Salty Air
Thanks so much Lisa. That means a lot. xoxo
Meegan, we have known each other since we were teen’s and I don’t think that anyone, in our group of friends at that time, ever knew that I too have epilepsy. When I was 18 months old I had my first petit mal epileptic seizure. I was on medication for so long that even when I was in my 40ies my mom carried a pill in her purse “just in-case” I had a seizure. My grand-nephew has epilepsy and I worry about him all the time, especially since kids are using electronics for hours at a time and how fast-paced they live. If you ever need to just talk to someone, give me a call.
Judiann,
I am so happy we are such good friends. Thanks for sharing your story with me, as well. I had no idea. Your poor mom must have worried about you all the time.
I would LOVE to meet up with you in the near future for a fun lunch of catching up.
Love you so much.
Meegan, You are such a wonderful example to me and to so many others. We all have adversity–each our own kind–but everyone doesn’t react to and grow from it as beautifully as you have. You are a dear woman. The kind whose influence is felt in very good ways. Love you!! Bonnie
Oh Bonnie, you give me way too much credit. I have had to work hard at having a good attitude. I am still working. It IS a blessing to have such a friend as you. I am so blessed. Loves!
Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. I had no idea.
xo,
Amanda
Thanks Amanda. You are a sweetie.
Loves!
Love you soo much! Sooo proud of you! You are such a WONDERFUL person!
Thanks Mom. You were a huge part of my healing process. I hope you know that. Love you very much!
Meegan, Thank you for sharing everything you have been going through. You are a beautiful person inside & out. You stand out as a kind, genuine person whom I know I would love to embrace in person. Maybe, one day! You are always in my thoughts & if I can help you in any way, please let me know. XO
Oh Julie! How sweet are you! I appreciate our connection and am grateful for that. You are a faithful friend. Thanks for your kind thoughts :)
I have been following you for a while now and enjoy every post! As I read this I see a very amazing person in an different amazing way…you are brave and strong to be able to put yourself out here for all of us to understand what life has dealt you and yet you are grateful, strong and brave! I agree your smile is beautiful as you are.
Oh Tammy, thank you so much. You are such a sweetie. I appreciate your kind words about me.
I hope you continue to follow. I love having you here :)
Oh, so glad you shared your story Meegan! What a thing to go through but you are so right, you have to see the other side and the good! It is hard, I know! I totally understand some parts of what you wrote having gone through a life changing event myself. I just cannot imagine, though, all you went through during that time and after. Especially with those small children of yours! It must have been so scary!
What makes Meegan? I think Meegan is brave, smart, beautiful and very strong! Hugs to you friend!
xoxo
Nancy